Byrnes Pool

Just waiting for the adult swim to end.
Ian doing back floats with his teacher.
Ms. Libby was very patient with both of the boys.
Carley just loved having pool time during the lessons.
Billy doing his back floats all on his own.

We are just loving our pool pass and the lessons this summer. It wasn't cheap- but worth it! The boys have had their first lessons in Swabbies and are waiting for their report cards. They each have a second session scheduled for mid-to-late July. Ian will do Swabbies again and Billy will be in Deck Hands. Carley will take her first lessons then in the Preschool class. She just loved hanging out in the baby pool while the big boys took their lessons. It was a good experience and one we hope to repeat many times over the coming summers.

7 months!

Our little Cassandra Joan is 7 months old now! Wow, how time flies. Cassie is so curious and into everything she can get her hands (and mouth) on. She loves the crinkly sounds of paper and plastic. We have to keep things picked up around here, because she eats anything and everything. I love how she rolls around to get what she wants. She is wonderful. She has been sitting up pretty well over the last week or so. She also loves mirrors. She will sit on the changing table in front of the mirror and just babble at herself and try to connect with that pretty baby staring back. It's adorable!

The Beach...

I was thinking last night that it was a shame I hadn't put any beach pictures up... so, here are a few... I'll try to find time to post more- with Autumn soon. This was our second Florida trip- for a funeral. We tried to make the best of it- Papa would have appreciated that.

School's Out

My monsters at the park- after a bike ride.
My little Cassie's first time in the grass.
Carley's first big girl bike.
Ian- a PreK graduate!
Billy with no front teeth- we're up to 5 now.

School's Out
School's Out
Teacher let the monkies out!

And here we are... we've been bowling, swimming, riding bikes, outside on the SlipNSlide and much more. So far, our summer's shaping up nicely. Just wanted to post some new pics (especially for the parents).
Love you guys!

Miss me?

Yes, it's true... for a short while I had fallen off the face of blogger.
Nov. 9- Dec. 6: My mom came to visit. What a blessing! I needed her help.
Nov. 19: Cassandra Joan was born. She's healthy and beautiful.
Nov. 26: Thanksgiving with my mom and in-laws.
Dec. 6: Cassandra's blessing.
Dec. 25: Christmas with my brother, sister-in-law and in-laws.
Dec. 31: New Year's Eve with friends. So fun!
Jan. 5: Termination hearing for our foster child's mother.

It's been a busy two months. We celebrated the holidays with family and we are now preparing to say goodbye to our foster child. Autumn should be moving to live with her aunt and uncle in Florida within the next couple of months. It's crazy around here- as always. I'll do my best to update again soon.

Worthwhile Weekend

Well, we finally got a weekend where there wasn't something going on... so what do we do... work! Carl was the driving force behind it all. We got a 220 installed in the basement- with the help of an awesome friend with the know-how. Then Carl went on a cleaning rampage down there. He cleaned out the garage, so he can park there again. Dropped off a bunch of boxes at Goodwill. We went through several more boxes to start on another drop-off. We returned bottles and cans- with the kids' help. Returned a few things we've been meaning to get back. We also caught up laundry and rearranged our bedroom. The bassinet is now set-up, along with a small plastic dresser and a laundry basket for baby clothes. It was nice to see it all accomplished, but man am I tired (from watching him do it all-ha).
Can you believe it's almost November! This little babe will be here soon enough. Right now, though, the focus is Halloween. I still have Trunk or Treat preparations and my kids costumes to finish!

The Endless Battle

There is a great rumbling occuring all of the time under my feet in our home- threatening to open the floor and swallow me up. This animosity between the two 6 year olds in our home is unnerving. It makes little sense why this competitiveness creeps in each day. Their interests are not the same. The aren't even the same sex. So, why can they not just coexist without the frustration and tension? How do I manage to get them to? I have tried not allowing them to play together- they're just fine with that. And it doesn't teach them anything- except to avoid things that cause them irritation and frustration. Is that really the right lesson here? HELP!

Why my hubby is so awesome!

Yesterday was looking pretty dismal, until my dear husband stepped in to save the day.
First, I forgot it was picture day. Now, in my defense, the school told us on a Friday and Monday was picture day. Anyhow, I blew it. I didn't help them choose clothes, comb hair or send money. Carl jumped in and took the money envelopes up to the school with clothes. He also made sure the kids were presentable. If that wasn't enough...
Second, my battery light came on in the van. I called and made an appointment at the shop. Unfortunately, the van didn't last long enough. I couldn't start it after picking up the kids at school. I abandoned the van at school and the kids and I walked home. Carl bought a new battery and installed it. He even took it in and had the alternator replaced today. He didn't even complain too loudly about the cost. If that wasn't enough...
I picked up a cable box so we can get General Conference in this weekend, but I could not figure out how to hook up the box or program the remote. Carl, even after a long day at work, jumped in and took care of it. Voila' Cable. If that wasn't enough...
The computer crashed yesterday. Carl pulled out his laptop and made it work so I could stay connected. I JUST LOVE THIS MAN!
It seemed terribly important to write this down and say... I am so lucky. My hubby is wonderful!

Autumn's Success

Still a little wobbly- especially when getting mounted.

Doing great!

Ready for another great start!

Autumn did it! She can ride her two-wheeled bicycle now without help! She has been really working hard on this skill over the summer. The last time we practiced, Carl and I were surprised that she hadn't mastered it- as she was able to go several yards- passing three residences. Now, she can conquer whole blocks! Yesterday, while Carley and I were napping, Carl took the big kids out to ride. Autumn can now start on her own. She is also getting better at braking and maneuvering around things. We're so proud of her!

Carl took Billy and Autumn to the park on their bikes and then to their school. It was an exciting day for them both- leaving the block to ride. It's awesome to share this experience with her. We hope she can show mom soon!

The First Day of School 2009

Ian with his teacher
Ian
The big kids first day (Thursday)
Autumn
Billy

I have been waiting for this day for it seems like forever. But I have to say, it has been a little

bittersweet. Sure, I'll have much quieter and productive days. Yes, I'll get to have some special time with my little girl, but the big kids are gone. Summer is over. There's so much I didn't get to do with them. Summer is never long enough, I guess.

Each of them took the first day of school a little differently. Autumn seemed a bit scared and apprehensive. Billy was excited and hopeful and Ian was just plain giddy. When I told Ian goodbye he said "Just go already Mom" and gave me a little "shoo" movement of the hand. It was a little sad, but I just had to laugh at his obvious readiness. Autumn was very quiet (unusual for her), but I could tell she really wasn't sure what to expect. When she arrived home she seemed a little let down that she had a half-day, when Billy got to stay all day. And Billy- well, still Billy. He was vague with the details of his first day and couldn't remember any new names.

So, school has started. Soon we'll be moving onto Carley's potty training and then on to welcoming a new baby. We've got a busy year ahead of us. Here's hoping for the best!

Harmony in the Home

You never truly miss something until its gone.
I'd like to begin my post by explaining that our home has never been perfect. We have never been completely without bickering. We have never had a spotless home. We have never been 100% on all things spiritual. But we have also never been so full of frustration either. The harmony of our home is not what it used to be. We used to laugh more. We used to hug more. We used to be really happy.
A wonderful and terrible thing has happened in our family since we opened it up and welcomed our foster child. We have learned about compassion, but we have learned how one child's example can be poison for the other children and parents. Autumn came into our home in just the way we were taught she would. There was a honeymoon period. She was sweet and listened well. She aimed to please. She always picked up after herself. A few time-outs and she was good to go. I thought we had struck gold. Then the behaviors began. First it was competitiveness. She and Billy (and eventually Ian) began trying to be the best and claim that title for everything. We dealt with it beautifully. We praised both for their abilities and talents and explained that each of these skills would come to the other in time. I was happy with myself as a new foster parent.
Then, we went on vacation. As a family, we went to see my dad and we did not bring Autumn. We left her with her past foster family, thinking she'd be happier visiting friends anyway. We did not expect her to feel abandoned. We did not expect her to lash out in anger upon our return. The hitting began. The tantrums grew worse. It was a nightmare. Still, we prayed and discussed between one another (Carl and I) and decided the best thing to do was to show Autumn that when people love you they don't leave you when you're bad. We stuck with her. We hit it hard with discipline- creative discipline. We assigned lines to write. We gave grounding punishments for whole days. We took away toys. We took away bedding (because it was thrown at us). And lastly, we took the bike. We broke her heart. We handled it. This seemed to work. Day by day she gained our trust back. We gave the bike back. We gave the toys back. We gave the pillows back. It worked.
Now Autumn is feeling the turmoil of her little life. As her days in foster care slip away she has become almost mean. She talks back. She makes up stories. She argues with my decisions. She snaps at the other kids. She glares at me. She ignores me. I just am not sure how much more I can take. I feel I have been so patient. I really do love this child. I have prayed over and over for more love for her. I know I can not give up on her. It is hard. I know passing her on to yet another foster home will do no good for her. And I would never get over the guilt of it. I need her to be good. I need to know she'll survive the struggles that await her (in going home or adjusting to a new home) after the permanency hearing. This is hard.
But I will perservere. Why? you ask. Because she is a child of God. He loves her. He wants me to be her caretaker during this difficult time. I know- because I've asked his permission to just let this all go. With Carl's proven record of consistency and support, I know we can make this work out for us and her. I know there is a lesson for our family in this great struggle. I know my children will always remember this service. And Autumn's life will be forever changed because of the lessons we teach and the love we give. I know it is the best for her... and us.
So, we are on to fight another battle. We are off to teach by love and perserverence. We will prevail.

Essay Assigned by Lisa V.

Question: Do you have a personal mission statement? Yes? No? If "yes" what are your experiences living by it? How has it changed the way you make decisions, treat people, etc?

Answer: I think I have had mini mission statements for various facets of my life.
For my marriage it has been "Never fight about money. It doesn't put any more of it in the account." That has been big for us. We have always done our best to make the most of what we have and spend what we don't when it means enriching our marriage at the most opportune times.
As for my kids, it's "they can be washed." I have tried not to stress over spilt juice, puddles of mud or dreaded paint. I try to let them be kids and remember the mess can be washed away *unfortunatly not wished away, but washed. Early in my marriage my house was sparkling and when the kids began being added to the family I stressed greatly over the messes. The stains in the carpet, the "might-as-well-throw-it-away clothes", they made me cry. To save my sanity, I decided they could be returned to their clean state.
And for the rest of the world, I stick with "Treat others the way you wish to be treated." I do my best to serve where I am needed and watch for opportunities compliment or be a listening ear. Most people are worth spending the time on, and the very few out there that just need to struggle through because they buried themselves in consequences will only allow themselves to become more self-centered when served. The hardest thing I've had to learn (and still continue to struggle with) is where that line lies. Just when I think I've found the line, I find myself stepping over it. Some individuals just need to learn to fix their lives themselves.

Nearly 20 Weeks - Ultrasound

The Names

We have made some decisions on names- and I feel obliged to create a happy post to secure the shred of sanity and joy I'm hanging too. We've been having a difficult two weeks or so with our foster child and I need to remind myself of the happy arrival we have coming before the end of the year. We have still decided to let this child's gender be a surprise- as it will probably be our last opportunity. The names we have chosen are as follows:

Cassandra Joan or Abigail Joan

Andrew Joshua or Calvin Jeffrey

"Joan" is not set in stone yet, and may be substituted with Rose, but we love both names and they are both for my grandma's- whose birthdays are days apart. Beverley Joan was born Nov. 30th and she died in 2000. Rosemary was born Dec 4th. The baby is due on Dec. 6th- and I'm holding steady for early babies.
So, say what you will. I'd actually love to hear your opinions- good and bad. Trust me, you won't hurt my feelings. I've already taken a little flack and I'm ready for it. So, CJ or AJ- which would you pick?

Random Photo

This is just a random photo from my phone. Autumn was very afraid to try to slide down the pole at the playground. After watching Billy a few times, she was ready to give it a try. This is her first successful go at it. She was so proud of herself. She has also learned how to do the monkey bars since she came to stay with us. It's so exciting to see her grow and learn!

Autumn's Preschool Graduation

Success!
Teacher Ms. Leila

Performing

Another performing shot

walking in

The pictures do not do this special event justice. She was so tickled to be wearing her dress and stockings to school. She wanted her hair done just so. Autumn was so excited and performed so well. I wish we would have taken some video. The songs, dance and recitations were darling. Autumn announced that she wants to be a chef when she grows up during her walk across the stage. She was so proud of herself. Carl took off work and brought her flowers- Autumn was pleased at this small surprise.

Camping over Memorial Day Weekend

I just managed to pull these pictures off my phone, so I thought I'd share them. This is our camping trip from over Memorial Day weekend. We had so much fun. We explored a cave, watched the trout spawning, we hiked the Backbone- 2 miles, rowed a boat, fished, everything. It was Autumn's first time. Such a good time. Wish the pictures were better.

Today's Doctor Appointment

I was surprised today at the doctor to find that I have only gained 2 lbs in the past 4 weeks. I'm also measuring at 18 weeks and the doctor says I should be 17 weeks tomorrow by his calculation. Baby was moving all over the place and finding a heartbeat was a real challenge. Found one and it was about 150- (not sure of the measurement, but number is right). As for the existing hemmorage, doc says we'll wait until 6/16 for full ultrasound to check it out. He says that it's more common than most people think and will usually go away without any trouble by 20 weeks. However, if it comes up on the ultrasound in 3 weeks it could be more serious. So, that's what I know. Baby's doing well. Hopefully the hemmorage will make itself scarce so we have no further worries.

Our Texas Vacation- Can't wait to return

We had such a good time on our Texas vacation, as I'm sure you can gather from the pictures. We are all so grateful to my dad and Gail for all they did to make our stay fun and eventful. The kids loved going swimming over and over again at the hotel pool. They think Grandpa Chuck's dog Buddy is such a winner. I wish our dog Skittles could have met him and learned to play from him. He is such a good boy. We can't wait to visit again soon. Hopefully we'll have time to fish and garage sale as the rain ruined our chance of getting those things done. I've never had rain interrupt my Texas vacation before- that was shocking. But we got lots of time to play on the computers and get all the necessary things accomplished. Thanks for a great trip Dad! I love my new maternity clothes Gail. It was great to meet you Billy and Candace. Good luck with the new baby. See you all again real soon!

San Angelo, TX - Kid's Kingdom Playground

Grandpa Chuck and Grandma Gail led us to the coolest of playgrounds when they both had to work and we were looking for a way to kill some time. This playground was expansive and had cubbies and climbing opportunities everywhere. The kids just loved it. I didn't take near as many pictures there as I would have liked. I was feeling rather sick this morning of the trip. The kids were so red in the cheeks after running around this place for over an hour. Carley proved to be quite capable climbing everywhere the boys did. Billy showed us how he can mount a high swing and get himself really going without any help. Ian was all over exploring the different places to play. It was a nice morning and though the afternoon was a scorcher, our morning had a beautiful breeze with clouds to keep it shady. Wish we had a huge playground like this one around here.